You may have noticed that I've been pretty absent from the blogging world lately. I've had quite a lot going on in my life, and I'm just now sitting down to process it all & express what's been going on in my heart.
The last two months have been quite a whirlwind for me. God has been working on my heart, stretching me, shaping me, forcing me to grow. Life can really change quickly, and the last few months have been a perfect testament to that.
I met a boy.
His name is Andrew, and when we first met, I wasn't so sure he was the guy for me. I had always pictured myself meeting a guy, becoming friends, dating, falling in love, getting married, buying a house, having kids & growing old together. In that order. In a neat little package. Wrapped up in a perfect little bow.
But Andrew was non of those things.
Andrew was a widower with two little girls. There was a greater responsibility, a greater calling, a greater risk. And I wasn't sure that I was the girl for the job.
That was late February.
In those first weeks I did a lot of crying. I cried because I felt so torn between what my heart was telling me I could do, and what society was telling me was normal. I cried for Andrew & the girls, and the pain they'd already been through. I cried because I doubted myself and my capabilities, and the fear of hurting them again broke my heart.
But then I started talking it through with people who could offer me godly wisdom. I stopped thinking of just myself and those crazy plans I had made as a little girl. I started praying and asking God His opinion for my life, and started letting Him direct my heart, and my path.
And then I did a lot more crying, seeing just how good, gracious, faithful, and merciful my God was to bring this man into my life, and allow me the opportunity to love him, and be loved by him.
See, God works in mysterious ways, and has plans for us that we could never even dream for ourselves.
Just days before meeting Andrew, this is what I wrote in my journal:
"...Because, like I said earlier, I was taught about God's love a long time
ago, and even when my heart is broken, I still trust that He has a plan
for me, and has a purpose for this stage in my life, for this time of
singleness. I never give up hope in His plan, even on the hardest days. I
may not have chosen this path, but I know He is still leading me, and
will one day, bring me my hearts desire..."
Isn't it amazing to see how God is working for us, even when we don't know it, or can't see it? That is the most important thing about keeping hope in your heart. You never know what God has planned, so you can't give up.
So Andrew and I made the decision to move forward into a relationship. We decided we were in this together, and that if God wanted us to stay together, He was going to work it out & we were going to follow.
It didn't take long before we knew we were in love. Four dates to be exact. To some it may seem fast, but it felt perfect for us.
The important thing that you can't miss in this is that yes, by a worldly time line it was fast, but God's timing is not ours, and He had been working this out years before Andrew & I ever met.
It's truly a beautiful thing.
We started talking about wedding plans after date 4, knowing it was inevitable, just not knowing when. We made plans for next spring, but decided a year engagement wasn't necessary for us, and settled on this fall. I had most of the wedding planning done before he even proposed, and that became sort of a joke around the household.
But somewhere around date 5 Andrew came to talk to my parents, asked their blessing to marry me, and accepted my Grandma's engagement ring to have reset for me. We went ring shopping right away, and I'm not sure I've ever squealed more than I did that day looking at all the sparkle before me, it was great.
So I knew the engagement was coming, I just didn't know when.
So last week when I was on a random shopping trip to Barnes & Noble with my Mom, let me tell you how surprised I was to look up and see Andrew! Two hours away from where he was supposed to be that day, 2 days early for the date we had planned that week! I knew the minute I saw him why he had come, and my heart did flip flops inside my chest just thinking about it.
He brought me to a park we had visited before, and up to the gazebo, and knelt down on one knee and read me a letter he had written. I'm not sure I heard every word when he first read it to me, I think my head was swimming, but when he was done, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes.
It was the happiest moment of my life.
The date is set for September 1st, of this year.
I can hardly believe the twist my path has taken, but it's here and it's real, and God really does work in amazing ways.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
After all these years of seeing other couples in love & helping other brides plan, it's finally my turn, and I am embracing every moment.
I tell you all of this to encourage you. Whatever path you find yourself on, never lose hope, and always know that God has a plan for your life, and He IS working it out.
I know the struggle of wanting to know the future right now, I know the frustration of wanting answers immediately, but the truth is, sometimes we have to wait.
And if there's anything I could tell you young single girls out there, it would be to wait for God's best for you. Don't settle for the world's best, don't settle for the wrong guy. God has a perfect plan for you, and it's worth the wait.